So, I’m sitting here watching the men’s beach volleyball gold medal match at the London Olympics — Brazil vs. Germany.
Don’t know who’s gonna win. Still watching. Haven’t seen any spoilers yet.
Now, have you noticed the Brazilian players go by one name? Seriously. Emanuel and Alison. One name each. They have more than one name to their name, but they go with one. Think about that.
How does that start? Do you tell people to call you by one name? Do people just start? If they accidentally use more than one name, is there some sort of anger or argument that ensues? How does a person with one name get cited for the misdemeanor after that fight?
Here’s my take: if another person dubs you a one-namer, I say go for it. If you dub yourself a one-namer, you had better be very, very good (or famous) at what you do.
Now, as I said, I have no idea why the Brazilians do it. I don’t live there. I don’t follow Brazilian sports. Not sure where it started. I’m sure they have a good reason. I’m also sure one of their fans will write us some kind of letter to tell us what that reason is.
I’ll keep you posted.
But let’s take a look at some truly famous one-namers. Figures who may have more than one name (or another name entirely), but who we love by one name.
Ready? In no particular order, here is the Nobody’s View Top 10 one-namers:
1. Sting. I mean, c’mon. Lead of The Police. Great on his own. Amazing. Have you heard, “Why Should I Cry For You“? Wow. So great. Use one name, man.
2. Madonna. I’m not a huge huge fan, but y’know…she had to be on here somewhere. I remember a discussion back in middle school about her “best” song. I think we agreed on “Borderline.”
3. Caesar. Yes, yes…I know it was a title. I know there was a Julius Caesar and a there’s a Caesar salad, but jeez…if you were Caesar, you were Caesar. Not Julius. Not Mr. Salad. Caesar. It’s on the list. Deal.
4. Dobby. If you know, you know. If you don’t, you don’t.
6. Bender. I don’t always watch Futurama, but when I do, I love the robot named Bender Bending Rodriguez. Bender! I mean, seriously. Who can bend like Bender? Nobody. That’s who. Oh, and if you don’t like it? Get bent.
7. Stifler. You love the American Pie movies. Oh, you won’t admit it to Nobody’s View, but you’ll admit it to yourself. And, if you’re being honest, you’ll tell yourself that Steve Stifler is one of your favorites. And, if you’re being really really honest, you’ll say that the scene in American Wedding where he eats the “truffle” is one of the best moments in movie history. Or, at least in American Pie history. You can figure out the search on YouTube.
8. Yoda. Yes. The great mystical master of a galaxy far, far away. Was there anything this guy couldn’t fix? Or lift with his mind? I mean, yeah…things got a little sketchy there for a while in the ol’ galaxy with Vader, but it all turned out in the end, didn’t it? Sure, Luke gets all the credit, but you know what they say: behind every great Jedi was a little green dude who…wait…they don’t say that.
9. Buddha. That’s the name. Learn it. Read about it. Study it. Live it. Buddha. Want another angle? Siddhartha.
10. Various philosophers and artists. I love when creative and thinking types use one name. Picasso. Kant. Descartes. Monet. Manet. Plato. Socrates. Aristotle. So many others. Yeah, they had more than one name. But we know them so well by one! They get into the brain as knowledge and art, and stick as one name.
So, there’s our Top 10 list of one-namers. Now, in that vein, you can feel free to call us: “Nobody.” Or “View.” Or “NV.”
Oh, and as for Emanuel and Alison? You can call them (SPOLIER ALERT!!!!!!!!!)….